WWE RAW
Episode 1385
#RAW
Original Air Date: December 9, 2019
Event Date: December 9, 2019
(aired live)
City: Greenville, SC
Venue: Bon Secours Wellness Arena
Commentary: Vic Joseph, Jerry Lawler, Samoa Joe
Ring Announcer: Mike Rome
Intro Video
“Legendary” by Skillet
Ring Area
Jerry Lawler is in the ring, and he’s ready to preside over a divorce contract signing… Lana heads to the ring with her lawyer, then Rusev comes out. Lana tells Rusev that she used to love him back when the WWE Universe hated him. She goes on and on about how much she loved him and how his popularity went to his head and how the WWE Universe is terrible and how Rusev shouldn’t get too close or else he’ll go to jail for a really, really, really long time. Rusev says he needs protection these days, and he shows footage of Lana and Lashley getting arrested last week.
Lana calls Rusev a monster and says no one will ever love him like she used to. Lana gets hot and starts yelling. Then she sort of cries. Rusev is ready to sign the divorce papers, but Lana wants to sign first. They start yelling over each other about a puppy. Finally Lana signs. Rusev hesitates. He wants Lashey to agree to a match before he’ll sign the divorce papers. Bobby Lashley heads to the ring.
Lashley says this is ridiculous. He also says he’s going to marry Lana after her divorce. Rusev doesn’t care. He says Lashley can have her. Rusev signs the papers, then Lashley attacks him. Rusev fights back, kicks Lashley in the head, and slams him through the table in the middle of the ring. Lana yells some more.
Backstage
Charly Caruso welcomes Kevin Owens. Owens is sure that AoP are working with Seth Rollins, despite Rollins’ denials. Owens says he is going to be a problem for AoP tonight.
Owens excuses himself and goes off in search of AoP. He comes across Rey Mysterio who says he has Owens’ back if he needs help. Owens says he needs to do this on his own, so Rey hands Owens the pipe Rey previously used on Brock Lesnar. Owens takes the pipe and smiles.
Ring Area
Matt Hardy heads to the ring for a match. Drew McIntyre comes out next, and he insults Matt’s new baby. McIntyre also offers Matt the opportunity to walk away from this match, but Matt attacks and hits McIntyre with a Twist of Fate.
Match 1
Matt Hardy vs Drew McIntyre
(referee: Darrick Moore)
Result: Drew McIntyre wins via pinfall after the Claymore Kick
Time: 2:17
Match Thoughts
Despite the pre-match advantage for Matt, this was kind of a squash. Matt seems to be on his way out of WWE.
Backstage
Earlier today, Charlotte Flair asked Becky Lynch for help taking the Women’s Tag Titles away from the Kabuki Warriors. Lynch would rather not team with Charlotte and take on the Kabuki Warriors by herself. Charlotte laughs.
Backstage
Kevin Owens asks Mojo Rawley if he’s seen AoP. Rawley messes with Owens, saying he saw them go multiple directions. Owens slaps Rawley before walking away.
Ring Area
The Viking Raiders head to the ring. They say they’ve been searching for worthy opponents for weeks, but all they’ve found are victims. Therefore, they issue an open challenge. The Street Profits answer the challenge.
Match 2
RAW Tag Team Title Match
Street Profits vs Viking Raiders (RAW Tag Champs)
(referee: Shawn Bennett)
Result: Ivar pins Montez Ford after the Viking Experience
Time: 3:11
Match Thoughts
This was fun. It was way too short for my tastes, but at least the Raiders fought an actual RAW tag team this time. Knowing how good this match can be (since I’ve seen it in NXT) made me feel like this could have been so much better. They should build up to another title match on a PPV down the road. And the Street Profits should win (since I still feel like the Street Profits should have beaten the Raiders for the titles during their last night in NXT).
Ring Area
After the match, Seth Rollins heads to the ring while the Street Profits and Viking Raiders are still having words with each other. Rollins says they can all stay if they want, but he has business to take care of. The Street Profits leave, and the Viking Raiders slowly leave after.
Alone in the ring, Rollins says he wants to fight AoP right now. Kevin Owens comes out and heads to the ring instead. Owens says he knows Rollins is just setting him up for another attack, but Rollins again denies it. We see on the tron that AoP has arrived.
After a commercial break, Rollins is still denying any association with AoP. Owens threatens Rollins, so Rollins gets out of the ring. Rollins says he’s going to leave now just to prove that he has no association with AoP. Rollins leaves, and AoP appears on the tron. They still don’t come out though. Instead, Sami Zayn comes out, and he’s brought Mojo Rawley.
Zayn says he has a manager’s license, and that allows him some leeway with regard to the brand split. Zayn says he’s not a manager, he’s a liberator. He also says that Owens slapping Rawley was way out of line. Zayn wants Owens to apologize to Rawley. Owens doesn’t say anything, so Rawley antagonizes Owens. Owens hits Rawley with a stunner, then he attacks Rawley with his pipe.
Backstage
Owens is walking around the back, and he’s still looking for AoP.
Backstage
Earlier today, Buddy Murphy said that he will prove that he’s better than Aleister Black when he beats Black at TLC.
Match 3
Aleister Black vs Akira Tozawa
(referee: John Cone)
Result: Aleister Black wins via pinfall after Black Mass
Time: 3:35
Match Thoughts
Tozawa didn’t have an answer for Black’s kicks tonight. This was close to a squash, which is unfortunate. Black has a match with Buddy Murphy coming up, so since Tozawa could give Murphy a good fight, wouldn’t it be a nice idea to have Tozawa give Black a decent fight?
Backstage
Charly Caruso welcomes Humberto Carrillo. Before Carrillo can speak, Zelina Vega and Andrade walk up. Zelina looks angry, and Andrade has a scuffle with Carrillo. It seems as if there will be a match between them tonight.
Video
The Liv Morgan Makeover is coming soon. This gives me unpleasant memories of the Makeover of Emmalina. Hopefully this makeover goes very differently.
Match 4
Andrade w/ Zelina Vega vs Humberto Carrillo
(referee: Eddie Orengo)
Result: Humberto Carrillo wins via pinfall with a victory roll
Time: 7:29 (1 break)
Match Thoughts
Good match, and I think it could lead to something even better. This was fast-paced and competitive at first, then Andrade started to take over. Carrillo had to persevere and look for an opening, and that made for a fun match.
Backstage
Rey Mysterio says the US Title means everything to him. It’s the destination of a journey he started when he almost lost his confidence and quit. Rey intends to prove to everyone he’s worthy of being called Rey Mysterio and still the United States Champion.
Backstage
Kevin Owens is still looking for AoP.
Match 5
Zack Ryder w/ Curt Hawkins vs Buddy Murphy
(referee: Darrick Moore)
Result: Buddy Murphy wins via pinfall after Murphy’s Law
Time: 2:00
Match Thoughts
This was fine. It was very short, and I don’t know that it really did a lot to build Murphy up considering it had a small distraction that led to the finish. I like Murphy a lot, but if I didn’t really know what he could do, then this match would not have helped me to see that before his match with Black.
Backstage
Kevin Owens finds AoP’s van. He smashes it with his pipe, but Akam and Rezar aren’t inside. Owens is attacked by AoP from behind, and they smash his head with the back door of the van. Inside the van, it’s revealed that Seth Rollins was waiting for Owens. AoP watches as Rollins stomps Owens’ head into the cement floor.
Ring Area
Seth Rollins comes out to the stage. Rollins wonders what people want from him. Rollins is sick trying to please people. He says he told the truth when he denied having anything to do with AoP, but the truth isn’t good enough for anyone. He beat Lesnar twice, but that still wasn’t enough. If people want to push Rollins, then Rollins will push back. The people have put Rollins side by side with AoP. Akam and Rezar come out and join Rollins on the stage. They all leave together.
Backstage
Kevin Owens, on a stretcher, is loaded into an ambulance.
Match 6
Two on One Handicap Match
Becky Lynch (RAW Women’s Champ) vs The Kabuki Warriors (Women’s Tag Champs)
(referee: Shawn Bennett)
Result: Becky Lynch wins via DQ when Asuka attacks her with a chair
Time: 9:54 (1 break)
Match Thoughts
Good match. I think Lynch probably fared better in her handicap match than Charlotte did, but I’m glad Asuka and Kairi didn’t just get destroyed. I get so nervous in matches like this that the tag team is going to look foolish against the one being handicapped in the match. That didn’t happen, though Lynch did get a lot of offense.
Ring Area
After the match, the Kabuki Warriors pull a table out from under the ring. Sane hits Lynch with the Insane Elbow from the top rope through a table on the floor.
Backstage
The OC are ready to take care of business. Styles says Gallows and Anderson will take the tag titles sooner or later (probably sooner), and they’ll celebrate with the US Champ, AJ Styles. Styles also says he might just end Randy Orton’s career.
Backstage
Becky Lynch is being attended to in the trainer’s room when Charlotte walks up and asks her how her match went. Becky reluctantly agrees to team with Charlotte if it means she’ll get a chance to beat up Asuka.
Charlotte is pleased as she leaves. In the hallway, Charlotte is ambushed by the Kabuki Warriors. Asuka and Kairi laugh as Charlotte while Charlotte is laid out on the floor.
Match 7
Erick Rowan vs Trent Newman
(referee: Eddie Orengo)
Result: Erick Rowan wins via Match Stoppage after multiple iron claw slams
Time: 1:20
Match Thoughts
This was a squash, but it was fun. Newman grabbed the cage that Rowan’s been carrying to the ring right as the opening bell sounded. Newman ran to the stage, put the cage down, then ran through the crowd to get back to the ring. Rowan, of course, went to check on the cage, and Newman pushed for the referee to count Rowan out. It didn’t work, but it was fun. Then Newman got destroyed.
Backstage
Charly Caruso asks the Kabuki Warriors what’s next for them. They respond in Japanese. Asuka then challenges Becky and Charlotte to challenge them for a tag title match.
Backstage
In the trainer’s room, Becky and Charlotte both want to fight the Kabuki Warriors, and they want it to be a TLC match.
The Monday After the Weekend Update
The Street Profits do a fake news show like SNL’s Weekend Update (which they call The Monday After the Weekend Update). They announce that it’s official: Becky and Charlotte will challenge for the Women’s Tag Titles in a TLC match. They also announce a new (fake) show, The Fiend and Mrs. Also, there will be a tables match between Rusev and Lashley. They then make a joke about King Corbin.
Match 8
United States Title Match
AJ Styles vs Rey Mysterio (US Champ)
(referee: John Cone)
Result: Rey Mysterio wins via pinall with a small package (and a distraction from Randy Orton)
Time: 10:39 (1 break)
Match Thoughts
Good match, but the finish had some weirdness. Anderson and Gallows came down to the ring partway through the match, and it looked like they would help Styles get the victory. Rey survived and kept fighting though, and I like the match up until the final few seconds. I’m not exactly sure what happened, but a move off the ropes ended in some awkwardness that turned into an underwhelming ending. These two guys could have a better match overall anyway.
Show Impressions
I liked a lot of the ideas tonight (except for the opening segment), but a lot of the matches tonight were just too short. I would much prefer fewer matches of a decent length rather than a bunch of short matches with only one or two that had enough time to properly develop. This definitely felt like the final RAW before a PPV in the sense that there was a lot of setup with no real resolutions. That’s fine. I do want to see TLC, even of some of the match-ups feel kind of tossed together.
Match of the Night
Andrade vs Humberto Carrillo
The action in this match was easily the best of the night. Plus, I think it will lead to some more matches which is great.
Official Results: https://www.wwe.com/shows/raw/wwe-raw-dec-9-2019