1st match is JTG vs. Chavo Guerrero
This is like the WWE version of that Japanese show, Banzai! (Place your bets now!)
At the table is The informed Matt Striker and the just happy to be here, Jack Korpela. Right off the bat here’s a quote from Striker that made my head spin. “I grew up on Eric B & Rakim and X-Clan, I like JTG but I want to see a colder side to JTG. I want to see more of a Frank Lucas meets Reggie Noble and less De La Soul meets Nick Cannon. I want to see a more aggressive side to JTG.” WOW! Keep in mind that Striker is from Brooklyn himself but that is a very ballsy thing to say. Chavo is wearing short tights, has he been doing that lately? Striker referencing Hillbilly Jim as an example of random legends who try to make a comeback at the Royal Rumble. Jack Korpela refers to Chavo as a 10-time champion in the WWE, impressive. I do realize that it’s like 7 cruiserweight titles, 2 tags and an ECW title run. Back and forth match but with surprisingly very little aggression from both sides. Match finally picks up with a 1-2 combo of J delivering the mug shot followed with a Shout Out for the win.
Match #2 is Chris Masters vs. Curt Hawkins
If you’ve been listening to the show you know that I have Curt Hawkins as the guy to follow in the company for 2011. Matt Striker calls Hawkins a non-traditionalist in pro wrestling and that he won’t last long with that attitude. Korpela calls Masters a World Class bodybuilder and then Striker says ‘I thought you were going to make a World Class Eric Embry reference!’ (Hear that Randy Brown?!) Great move where Masters bounces off the ropes and Hawkins slides next to his legs under the bottom rope and trips him on his way to the floor. Haven’t seen that one yet, I love that! After some good sequences, Masters traps Hawkins in the master lock, ugh NEXT!
3rd match is tag team action between Zack “WWWYKI” Ryder & Primo vs. David Hart Smith & Darren Young
Josh Matthews and Scott Stanford at the table now. D.H. Smith’s new music is terrible by the way. Stanford plugs Ryder’s new t-shirt and I wonder if that’s worth an autographed pic or not. Smith spikes the hell out of Primo with a massive power bomb. Ryder debuting the ’Call Me’ leg drop as far as I have seen at least. Zack and Primo are working very well as a team so either they have something here or I am just experiencing wishful thinking. Darren Young gets a major hot tag and goes to town in there showing a ton of charisma and the ability to get the crowd into this match as well. Attempts the Heat Wave (full nelson slam) but is stopped by Primo. Primo and Smith get dumped out to the floor, Young is distracted by the outside action and gets hit with the Rough Ryder and ZACK RYDER & PRIMO WIN!
And the MAAAAIIIIIINNN EVENT is Yoshi Tatsu vs. Tyson Kidd, let’s do this
Stanford says Tyson Kidd has been in the ring since he was 15, I will have to look that up because I’m not sure if he means pro or training. Also, Yoshi has a degree in political studies. Yes, Scott Stanford prides himself on being a walking trivia factoid guy and that’s not necessarily a bad thing in the WWE for my money. Yoshi holds a back bridge while simultaneously losing a test of strength AND having Kidd’s knee in his abdomen, that’s super impressive. Multiple pin attempts and reversals after that Kidd catches Tatsu with a dragon screw to the leg over the middle rope. What a great series that was for the last minute or so. Kidd continues to work on the leg after the commercial break. I counted about a half dozen different leg submissions and multiple Jericho-esque ’ask him!’ requests. Yoshi gets a desperation northern lights suplex and sells the leg so good he loses the bridge. Tatsu goes for the Lance Storm super top rope spin kick special but there was no pool in the water. At this point, I will be pissed if Kidd loses this one. As I type that Tyson goes for the sharpshooter and Tatsu wraps him up in a small package and ……Steamboat wins the title!………… I mean Sting wins the title!!!! …….um actually Superstars is over. Match of the Week contender for sure. Going to check on results for the rest of this week to refresh my memory now.
Here we go with Matt Striker and Jack Korpela in the booth.
First guy out is Trent “Trent?” Barreta and he is facing Big Tyler Reks….uh oh. I always liked the speed vs. strength matchup. Striker calls Reks “Trendylocks” haha. On the offset, Reks tries to corner Barreta but Trent comes back at him refusing to be cornered. That works for a bit until he gets caught and Reks hit’s a move that starts out like a Dominator but finishes as a stomach breaker on the drop, never seen that one before and….OUCH! Trent finally turns the tide after getting dominated (literally) by Reks for a good solid 2-3 mins. Trent hit’s a couple of dropkicks catching Reks sleeping a bit and follows it up with an énziguri. Trent has caught fire with a stage dive elbow in the corner, clothesline and a ’Gobstopper’ knee to the face. Goes for the top rope move and gets low bridged big time. Reks follow up with a massive burning hammer and Trent is toast. Tyler Reks wins and I am left pondering why these 2 waste away on Superstars.
Next up are the tag team victors from last week, Primo and Zack Ryder. The voices of Josh Matthews and Scott Stanford are calling this one and I couldn’t be happier. To be fair, both teams in the booth are exceptional on Superstars. I can only hope there are futures for all of these guys sooner than later. Ryder gets on the mic and asks the crowd ‘Do you people even know who we are? We are the most overlooked superstars in the WWE’ no argument here. Primo says they should be on RAW, again I am in agreeance. Also according to Zack, after they win, they will go to the club to pick up some girls who are ‘D-Z-P…..down with Zack and Primo WOO WOO WOO YOU KNOW IT!’….how can you not like Zack Ryder I ask you. My hopes of another win are dashed a little bit as Yoshi Tatsu and David Hart Smith come out but we shall see. Stanford and Matthews are put over as both former tag team champions that are hoping to put some victories together to get noticed by the RAW GM. I am on board with that for sure, let’s see them challenge Santino and Kozlov. How entertaining would that feud be on mic work alone?! Smith and Tatsu are also showing signs of good chemistry. Back from the break we see Primo has the upper hand on Smith after Ryder jumped him on the floor. Primo is such a crisp wrestler and yes he is extremely underrated. Smith finally turns the tide with a sick belly to back suplex where he holds the waist lock until his opponent drops, such a great move in his arsenal which I believe was perfected by Mr. Saito. Yoshi hit’s a shining wizard of sorts during his hot tag and gets a 2 for his efforts. This week Tatsu hit’s the Storm spin kick from the top rope but his pin attempt is broken up by Ryder and we have bedlam now. Shades of last week with a twist, Primo helps Ryder hurricanranna Smith over the top rope when Smith attempted the power bomb. Primo is distracted by his brilliant move and it looks like Tatsu has a cardiac kick set to go but Primo ducks!…….and he hit’s the backstabber for the 3! The Can-Asian Connection fallto DZP! Put these guys on RAW right now! NOW NOW NOW! ……you know it.
Main event is Tyson Kidd vs. R-Truth.
Crowd chants for R-Truth in the early goings. It’s looking like Kidd is set to fall in the main event for the 2nd week in a row. Korpela mentions that Santino’s record Rumble appearance was similar to his medical career. Kidd puts Truth in a number of headlocks and front face locks. Truth hits his little seen suplex/stunner combo which he should do way more often. He only gets a 2 count due to Kidd grabbing the bottom rope. After a pin attempt by each guy Truth hits Kidd with a pay dirt which was originally done by Shelton Benjamin and is now done by Heath Slater, what’s up with that? Regardless it’s good enough for 3 and this edition of Superstars has come to a conclusion.
We kick off with my favorite new tag team DZP! Aka Zack Ryder and Primo (do you think DZP or Primo Ryders is the better team name? send me an email) Ryder says he woke up with a sick tan because he and Primo’s tag team are so hot right now. This is a rematch last week against Yoshi Tatsu and David Hart Smith. Smith has really been improving since the breakup of the Hart Dynasty last year, his moveset is way more exciting now. I love Yoshi Tatsu’s Japanese arm drag which does get called properly by Stanford and Matthews. Primo & Ryder taking a page out of the Brainbusters playbook by tagging in his partner in mid sunset flip, bonus points for holding the opponents head down just like the former Horsemen. Primo makes a big mistake by giving himself a tree of woe, never seen that before! On the hot tag Ryder sells Smith’s leg drop like a million bucks, shades of Hogan’s better 80’s opponents. Yoshi gets a tag in off of Smith’s hot offense and finishes up Ryder with a spin nick heel kick followed up with a cardiac kick to the side of the head. This effectively yet sadly ends the hot streak of DZP. Oh well I can’t be terribly mad considering how talented and fun Smith and Tatsu are.
Match #2 (literally) is Melina vs. Tamina
This match was kind of a mess for me and it appears to me that Tamina still needs work. Perhaps she was having an off night but unfortunately so was Melina. You should always be able to make up for any shortcomings your opponent may be having that night but it just wasn’t in the cards. Shame because because I like both women but this thing just never clicked. Worst match I’ve seen on Superstars to my recollection. Melina wins via Primal Scream leg split.
YEAH! as JTG would say it is main event time with another tag match. This should make up for the previous travesty. We have JTG and Trent “Trent?” Barreta vs. Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks. “Former Best Friends and Roomates” Trent & Curt kick it off and I think Barreta is in a dead heat with yoshi Tatsu on who has the best arm drag on the show. Reks appears to be perturbed with hawkins during their first tag, hmmm. During an early exchange Jack Korpela mentions how it’s every Superstars dream to appear at Wrestlemania, then says it’s something that Matt Striker never did (who is calling the match with him by the way) After that major factual f-up Striker corrects him quickly informing him that he indeed competed at a Wrestlemania. Korpela continues by asking him “which one?”, Striker responds “23, go back and watch your tape buddy”. now I realize Korpela was reeling him in because his next response was ’did you put the ring up?” ok you got me there. Most of the middle part of the match is Hawkins and Reks cutting the ring off with JTG as the victim. Hawkins executes a beautiful scoop body slam, shades of Hacksaw Jim Duggan. JTG has been in the match getting killed for damn near 5 miutes before he hot tags Barreta. Trent hit’s a nice missle dropkick on Reks but gets caught immediately after with Curt Hawkins’ taste of pain. It’s like a belly to back suplex but backflips your opponent all the way over into a faceplant. Curt goes for his patented flying elbow drop but is low bridged into the soprano position by Barreta. Meanwhile, JTG leaps from the apron to the floor and shoulder blocks Reks, looks like they won’t be a factor in the finish which I sense is near. Barreta gets knocked back off the top lands on his back and Hawkins smokes him with the heat seeking elbow from the top. 1-2-3, Reks and Hawkins win and once again I must say how crisp and awesome Hawkins is in that ring. Post-match Tyler Reks hits Hawkins and gives him the burning hammer just because he has no friends.
See you next time, good night!
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